The reason I share my sobriety story so openly is because I am passionate about ending the stigma associated with addictions.
Today, I very loudly celebrate 1000 days sober.
What does sobriety mean to me?
In mid January 2018 I woke up with my last hangover.
Not every night was a black out night, but I can honestly say towards the end of my addiction pretty much every night I was under the influence to the point that I couldn’t drive. I was not a reliable mom, wife, daughter, or friend.
I started things but never finished them.
Things such as workout programs and healthy eating.
Because cardio/running is a wonderful thing to do to your body when it is dehydrated and hungover.
(insert eye roll)
Yup I did fasting, and often broke the fast with a shot of tequila or vodka. Very healthy, right? …
I started courses, books, meditating, crafting, a side business, etc. Nothing ever lasted. I quit everything…
Except my drinking. Until now.
Not a day goes by that I don’t have a memory of before recovery.
It brings back horrible, shameful memories of being drunk and trying to look sober. The red patches on my face, trying to cover them up. The alcohol on my breath, brushing my teeth over and over trying to hide the smell.
It fills me with the shame of secretly drinking and then that awful task of hiding my drunkenness. The pathetic attempt to talk, trying to sit up, walk, do LIFE normally. I spent so much time covering my tracks, hiding my secret, my ugly habit that made me sick, physically, mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually.... I was slowing killing the spirit inside of me.
ONE GLASS OR MODERATION!?
For me, it was the 1 or 2 bottles and the thirst for more alcohol once that first sip had passed my lips that wild horses could not have been able to stop. Sneaking shots to get to the buzz, the numbness, the zoning out quicker. Then the broken sleep, nausea and crippling impact on mental health.
It’s one thing to have spent evenings of my life drinking wine and zoning out through an entire episode of Downton Abbey but I realize that I have been zoned out for some of the best bits of life. So many incredibly special occasions, (including my own wedding) that will never happen again.
It took a long time and many, many days of telling myself I wasn't going to drink to only turn around and fail by 5pm (wine o’clock).
In the end though I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I had finally had enough.
You do it until your done, and then you stop.
I love knowing that I will remember everything I did today.
I love knowing that I will not wake up full of anxiety because of things I may have said or done, but don't clearly remember ("never tell me anything important after 8pm" I would say).
I love knowing that there will be no apology texts, no awkward pretending my outrageous behavior was totally normal!
I love knowing that I'll be waking up to a beautiful morning tomorrow, hangover free…”
When I say my sober date means absolutely everything to me, it is not an exaggeration.
I take care of myself.
I am able to be a better mom, better wife, better human.
I am present for life.
I have accomplished more with my life in 1000 days then I have in the 30+ years of addiction before.
I have been so fortunate/blessed that during my early recovery days, I found a passion that fires me from the center of my being and I was able to take that passion and turn it into a business that allows me to help others make positive change their lives.
Every single day of my life I live in gratitude for my sobriety.
For those who are newly sober, don't get frustrated with yourself and give up. This is a process and it takes time, and I can promise you that your life will immediately get better when you stop drinking. It won't be perfect because it's still life, but it is so much better.
I LOVE being sober, its like I am the person I always wanted to be.
My sober date is my birth date.
The day I stopped drinking was the day I truly started living, and I am only getting started.
Phoenix Mind and Body Wellness held the first Sober Sociable.
The purpose of this live Facebook party is to invite women to share their businesses and their stories. I believe that we all have a story that will touch the lives of other women who just might need the message those stories hold to move forward in their lives. My goal is to share share and keep sharing and healing and becoming stronger together.
Why Sober Sociable? Well part of my story is that I am have been sober for over 2 years and clean for over one year. I want to prove that you can still be sociable and sober and have a great time and a great life with great people!!!
Last week I was very honored to share this space Christine Hiltz, owner of The Cosmic Hippie Boutique. She not only has built a beautiful business, but she is building a beautiful life.
She explained the birth and growing pains of the Cosmic Hippie. Educated us on the links of breast cancer and Alzheimer's disease to using Anti-perspirants and gave us options for natural deodorants.
You can find this amazing little shop on Instagram or Facebook.
She blessed us with her story and how she lives from her heart. At 48 she is taking life by the lady balls and started surfing, loves to travel and how she pushes away the self doubt/imposter syndrome when it creeps in. I think that is something we can all relate to!
If you missed this episode and you identify as female, you can find it here on our Facebook group
If you would like to have your own Sober summer drinks you can find 12 delicious recipes by signing up for my newsletter!
Some of the beautiful products of The Cosmic Hippie Boutique
and Christine, the amazing force behind it all ,
one of my favorite people in the world...
Deb Silver is an online Fitness trainer and nutrition coach. She empowers women to find their strengths, live their truths and find ways to make their lives happier and healthier.